Sunday, 16 May 2010

Are the Miliband brothers secretly like Team Lassoo?

Hello hello hello hello, hello hello hello hello....

So I've been thinking. Do the Millibands behave like my family do?

In the middle of a state banquet does Ed Miliband tap David on the shoulder and nick his sausage? Does David sneakily show Ed the mashed up contents of his mouth during luls in conversation? Do you think one or the other has grabbed the opportunity to fart in the other's face whist walking up stairs? Can the Miliband family all quote extensive passages from Elvira Mistress of the Dark, or insist on playing The Harper Valley PTA to people as they enter the house for the first time?

With the importance of the labour party leadership contest coming up I realised that I couldn't live another day without finding out, so I asked a source close to both brothers. what this revealed was both enlightening and humbling:

 This picture was taken during the famous feud of 1997, you can't see it but Ed is actually compressing David's spine with his little finger. The feud went on for several weeks and consisted of the two brothers not only refusing to speak to each other, but actively hiding the telly remote control in more and more obscure places. It was never found and they had to buy a second hand one on Ebay (the 2 doesn't work.)

This is Ed after he was told by a close aide that David had told everyone in The Commons that he fancied La Roux.

This picture was unearthed from Ed's personal items and it's thought that the picture was doctored following the Christmas when James Brown died and David claimed that his music was overrated.

So there you have it kids. The Milibands. Just like my family - and a damn sight nicer than David Cameron.

Back in reality we shot the music video yesterday. It was a roaring success, you'll see the final version when it's cut together, very very soon. Germaine and Gary, my erstwhile stars, were god damn amazing. If I hadn't spent my entire salary buying a camera and then buying lots of other things to make my camera mac compatible, AND Woolworths hadn't shut down, I'd buy them a selection of pick and mix EACH. Not just the penny chews either.  Not to mention Roxy and Umber who made kick ass extras and made the fridge open eerily by itself.

What girl can ask for more? xxxxxxxxx


  1. one who knows the DREADFUL TRUTH!!!!!!!!21 May 2010 at 11:50

    Lets face it dear, the assorted dreadful behaviours (especially the farting) you describe are pretty much down to you rather than the rest of the family. The truth must be told! Some of us (not you of course) are reasonable and perfectly sensible persons.

    Now - 2, 4, 6, 8, who do we incinerate!

    And now I'd like to tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widow wife...

  2. Actually the farting was definitely Jake.
    I took out the bit about certain people pushing other certain people down flights of stairs at family weddings as well........ hmmmmm