Tuesday, 13 April 2010

It's supposed to be the opposite of hate!

Okay so my last post was pretty angry - and I'm supposed to be working to counteract the hatred that permeates the world. Blah blah bloody blah. 

Which is, of course the point, and, unfortunately, the name of this blog. 

Pesky blog. making me stick to my original point - that was clearly made when I was having an unfeasibly good day that people in London NEVER have. I must have been on drugs or suffering from a hormonal imbalance or been listening to The Lemonheads in a lovely meadow or something. 

Anyway - having horribly contradicted The Opposite of Hate by being mean about whatsername getting her boobs out for autism instead of doing something artistic and lovely to offset it (apart from a five minute fake photoshop jobbie of my head attached to a plus size model - who I'd contradicted the blog the week before by being mean about too but I'm going to ignore for now), which still makes me feel slightly unwell when I look at it)) - I'm going to make one final t-shirt in honour of Polly Tommney. 

I'm going to let you, the public - all nine of you, decide on what the t-shirt will say. I was thinking of posting it to her but I think that would just be mean and bullying and I really don't advocate that sort o' thing, no matter how grumpy I get. So whoever makes the best comment below can have it instead. 

The suggestions I have: 
1. Tit power. 
2. I showed my bra on billboards and all I got was this rubbish t-shirt
3. Keep staring bucko - I'm changing government policy. 

Please suggest more. Unless we go with number one we're going to need one hell of a massive t-shirt. 

In the continued spirit of contrition to you, my adoring public (of nine people) I'm going to double make up for my anger this week. I've managed to cure another public piece of hate that's been in the news this week. 

You might have read about Frankie Boyle - the comedian, who was Tweeted about somewhat unfavourably having decided that making stupid and bullying jokes perpetuating the sort of stereotypes about people with Down Syndrome that are discounted by anyone with a brain or an ounce of soul, compassion or love as soon as they leave the playground, to an audience that included the mother of a child with Down Syndrome. What a twat - you might be thinking. 
Well think again dear people - I've spoken to Frankie Boyle and managed to secure a public apology for his behaviour. Take it away Frankie: 

Hi. I'm the comedian Frankie Boyle. You might know me from the BBC show Mock the Week. 

Yes, that's the one, the one with the macho posturing. 
What do you mean you don't watch it? 

What not even when Rory Bremner's on it and they try to shoe horn in some of his amazing impressions? Hey Rory - do your Michael Caine. 


Anyway, I've said some twatty things in my time, like the time I said that accomplished athlete had a face like a spoon. I can't help it though. I'm just not funny like Bill Hicks - and he had Debbie Gibson and George Bush to be mean about. 

But I've gone too far this time. I'm sorry. 
It's because everyone hated me at school.

And I have a tiny penis. 

So there we go kids. The opposite of hate. 
See you on Thursday for the announcement of my next task. 
Woo xxxxxx 


  1. I can't think of anything better, but you did make me laugh so can i have it? Please? :)

  2. "Why vote? I have tits"

    "Tits: changing government policy one billboard at a time"

    Or maybe just the classic


  3. On left side of tshirt picture of Gordon Brown with "left tit" written under it. On right side of tshirt picture of David Cameron with "a right tit" written under it.

    Kate O'B

  4. Can't DC go on the back, at the bottom, with "arsehole" written underneath?

    Like it though :)

  5. Sorry. I arrived late and will now be overly long.

    "I have a secret weapon under here that can
    change the world. Want to see?"