Tuesday, 6 April 2010

A few things left....

Ah dear friends we're coming to the end of this task. I can see it, looming before me, the end is nigh. I can't say I'm completely saddened to not be about to do some sewing for a little while - I've definitely reached the decision that less is more when it comes to making garments. 

For one thing, tonight I managed to stick a sewing needle into my tongue. Yes I know I have a piercing there, but anyone who doesn't know the story about how I finally got over my astounding fear of needles to go and get it done can just damn well not find out and keep pretending that there's a chance I might be cool. Everyone else - you can giggle in recognition now. Bah. 

I've also spent the last two weeks living in an odd Lassoo shaped augmented reality in which I can't stop eyeing up other people's clothes. I keep catching myself seeing skirts that would make wicked hats, and tops I want to make into bags. I can't stop myself - I've turned into some sort of DIY sewing pervert. I keep half expecting myself to wake up one fearful night to find that I've pulled some sort of Ed Gein in my sleep, but instead of human flesh I've attacked one of the teens that look like extras in Skins from near my house and made their jeggins into a useful pen holder which I'm flaunting around the neighbourhood. 

Nonetheless, I have still been a productive young thing (okay stretching it with the young bit.) Here at last is the first picture of "I ate Kate Moss" in all its finery (courtesy of Jules, the fiercest woman I know - and I'm a big scary feminist). (That was a compliment Jules) (Please don't hit me!). 

Please ignore the gurning - I had drunk a bottle of wine before this picture was taken. 

Disclaimer - no Kate Mosses were hurt in the making of this t-shirt. Although I stabbed my finger a number of times and also swore loudly - probably in front of children. 

I've also finished three hats - one of which will be flying its way to the lovely Alex Townley as she did point out her overwhelming loyalty to the blog. The other two will be gifted according to who can prove their love most. Non sexually. With diamonds? ? ? 

Today I'm making a t-shirt that says: Angry, Hungry Monkey of Death. I want to give it to the most angelic looking woman I can find. Then it's bags ahoy. 

Before I leave you all with the knowledge of a job well done I'd like to make one more point. Let's take a little sojourn away from sewing for a moment if we may. .... I saw this poster at a bus stop on the way home tonight: 

Now I don't want to come across as someone's curmudgeonly aunt (which I am by the way). I have no problem whatsoever with dull people watching films that feature people who look like dollies and have two surnames for names (if you've ever played the celebrity name game by the way - you know, the one where you have to link loads of names, i.e. Daniel Craig Charles etc etc, then Channing Tatum is a fantastic addition to the star system. Finally we can link Stockard Channing and Tatum O'Neill - now the game will continue forever!)   HOWEVER - doesn't this poster show a terrifying difference in proportions between the two actors? She looks like a sock puppet he made in class and called his girlfriend because he had no friends because he had two surnames for names. 

Is there a reason for this? 
Am I a stature nazi? 

I hope not. 


  1. I got mentioned and everything. And I love 'I ate Kate Moss'.

    My personal favourite thing about this film is that Dear John letters are traditionally letters girls send dumping boys (yes I'm a child and no-one around me is allowed to be grown-up).

    I'm really hoping this is a film about a boy who makes his own sock-puppet girlfriend and how it spends an hour and 40 minutes dumping him by letter. A letter he has to write since it is his hand.

  2. Holy crap Townley - you've just come up with the greatest concept for a movie ever. Can we make it? can we? can we PLEASE?!

  3. I'm loving the Kate Moss T-Shirt. If you were making one about Cheryl Cole, what would it say? She is currently staring at me out of the front page of a magazine, almost as if she's asking the same question.

    I ask you, of course, because you have now assumed 'T Shirt Slogans About Famous Females Guru' status in my life. But remember, I am fickle, so your Guru-rality may be taken away at any time. Mwaahahahaa.

  4. Okay I've got it - how about "I can extend everything except my brain."
    That sucks doesn't it. Guru status will be relinquished. Don't believe the hype!!!!

  5. I may struggle pass for angelic, but what do I have to do to get my (monkey)paws on the Angry, Hungry Monkey of Death tee????


  6. Well Veats - I think you'll have to prove yourself in a fight against a stop motion animated cracken.
    It's the only way!! xxx