Thursday, 15 April 2010

Pull yourself together woman....

I'm not a princess. I should have said.
If I was a princess I'd be pointless. Or dead.

Tommy Lassoo

I know I know, i'm quoting myself again. It is partly due to hideous mental blocks when trying to pick song lyrics to start blogs off, but it's also because the first two lines perfectly illustrate what I'm about to go on about.

Anyway, enough of that.
A few things have popped up in the news this week that have made me think a bit more about what my next task is going to be. My favourite Sun headline since World's fattest man lives in Ipswich (a fat man, a serial killer and Nick Kershaw, I'm so proud of my home town) turned up yesterday in the shape of "Paedo Bikinis" (If I die having never been in a band called Tommy Lassoo and the Paedo Bikinis then my life has been worth nothing! Nothing I say.)

I don't think that anyone is shocked that padded bras for children exist. They're but a step up from tiny heels and kiddy make-up, Barbie and Britney, but it's always good to be able to point out the bold faced hypocrisy of the shitty press. Page 1 - paedo bikinis - ban this filth. Page 3. Jo, 21 from Leicester, because of course it's okay once they hit eighteen for Sun reading bastards to oggle them. They're adults by then and would never have been led to this by a childhood of being raised to think that posing with your top off is somehow a worthy career.

Nice! Thanks for that handy dose of morality from The Sun. We'll all be sure not to touch any children now.

Next - Britney Spears has released un-airbrushed pictures of herself to show the contrast between the officially released and airbrushed versions. On a personal note I'd like to say go Britney go. I've never really been able to hate Britney Spears, not the way I hate Cheryl Cole anyway (pointless pointless racist shit) - maybe it's because she looks like my friend Bunny, or because her first single was written by the guy who wrote Poison (the Alice Cooper song). Or maybe because, like many child stars, she probably didn't know what she was letting herself in for. Tabloids are bastards and I choose Britney over Now Magazine any day.

Saying that - I'm sure that the PR hasn't done her any harm whatsoever. We've all seen the worst of every angle of that star and aside from her next show being Public Cervix Announcement I think we've pretty much seen every state of Britney, so what has she got to lose?

I am concerned, however, that once more this is spectacle dressed up as empowerment. More and more shitty women's magazines are offering photoshoots of celebrities without make-up, it's a thing that's going on at the moment, and rather than this being empowering I think that this is just another elitist rouse. Now the pressure is on women not only to look good in make up but to look good without as well, and of course, if they can't have make-up then they'll just have surgery. Air brushed or not airbrushed women are still being held up in picture form in front of society and judged as objects, without a single mention of people aspiring to do anything other than look a certain way. Britney's still posing provocatively in a barely there outfit with a vacant look. Yawn.

Which brings me to the third thing - I read this story on the Mail Online today. I know I know, but I had to go there for work.

Teenager who was bullied for being 'fat and ugly' has last laugh as she reaches final in modelling contest

Yes kids, the last laugh. Apparently the 16 year old in question won the final of Miss Real Curves. So there you have it. If people bully you for your weight then don't be anorexic - just enter a competition where old perves can oggle your curves instead of your ribs. Presumably she'd have been allowed to wear some sort of bikini though - to help her get her own back, you understand.

All clear?

Which allows me to segue nicely to my task for the month. And you'd thought I'd forgotten didn't you? Well I'm going to be sticking to the theme of female objectification for another month, just because I love ranting about it. I was inspired to the next task when attending my local Fitness First gym. I know it's weird for a self confessed lazy girl but I actually really like the gym. I love plugging myself into a machine and feeling better half an hour later. And I love the gym I go to - the people there are lovely, the instructors and the cleaners and the people on the desk. There's an amazing, safe and friendly atmosphere that is spoiled by one thing and one thing alone.

Have a look at this (WARNING - HIDEOUS SEXISM ALERT):

or this:

Or this....

There are about a million of these videos, loads of them are made by Ministry of Sound and all of them make me blood spittingly angry. I wouldn't listen to this shit excuse for music if I wasn't in a public place and I certainly wouldn't watch this exploitative cheap porn if it wasn't shoved in front of my face but it is. I'm angry that this is what passes for music videos but I'm more angry that I have to watch this when I'm in my local Fitness First. I have no means of escape. This is apparently acceptable within society. I feel like Mary Whitehouse saying this but these videos are really offensive. Mostly naked women prostrating themselves at the feet of fully clothed men. Women being nothing more than meat. It actually makes me feel sick to watch them - they're basically moving lads mags.

So - I'm going for the opposite.
I'm making my own music video. I'm summing up all of the skills that a BA(hons) in Drama and Screen studies from about ten years ago have given me and I'm making my own music video. It's going to rock, it's going to be empowering and lovely and a shit load better than any of the spew that Ministry of Sound shits out.

Who's with me?

I need a song, I need actors, I need to try and get a tax rebate from the inland revenue in a timely fashion so I can buy a video camera and not end up in debtors gaol (a very Dickensian ending) and I need ..... well, to stop typing and get thinking.

In the meantime I'm off to France for a weekend to play lots of lovely music, eat some cheese and come up with a story board.

I'll leave you with the opposite of Ministry of Sound - watch these, they will heal your soul.

love love love xxxxxxxx

p.s pictures of the clothing from last month's challenge are on their way - I've lined up a photographer (thanks Rox) we just need to find a day when we're both free! Watch this space xxxx

p.p.s thanks for the video suggestions on Facebook - anyone else can post other examples of good bad videos below. Go on - you know you want to.


  1. Yeah, right, but that Rudenko one is, like, totally empowering right, because it's like the man who's tied up, yeah? So, like, the women in their revealing rags are totally the ones who are in control? And it's definitely nothing to do with appealing to pubescent boys.

    Also, note that the bullied "fat" girl only won the competition after GIVING IN TO THE BULLIES AND LOSING 2 STONE. Hooray for the non-image obsessed modelling industry!

  2. I have watched both the aha and foo fighters vids in the last 2 days, Big Me yesterday and Take on Me down the Fludyers on Tuesday. Both times I was describing to a child (mine) why they were awesome videos and both times was agreed with.
    Sara X X

  3. Oh, you listed the Take On Me video! I like you! The best video ever in the whole of the known Universe and then some. I can never watch it without being fascinated, entertained, touched, and moved. No, really, it's true. You have earned my respect.

  4. Yay! I'm so feeling the video love. I've decided, possibly after too much sunshine, good wine, good company and general greatness over the weekend, to stop concentrating on those pieces of crap they show in the gym and only go for inspiring forces.

    I give it a week. If that.
    Good to have earned respect. Bet I lose it within a week too!! xxx

  5. I say something homemade like the OK Go videos, or the Sweded films from Be Kind Rewind!! I should probably read your later posts where you've already decided what you're doing before I shove my ideas at you, but heh, what can you do, I can't be bothered to go there and come back and write this.