Tuesday, 29 June 2010

TV review from 25 years ago.

Thanks to the glory of internet television it's almost completely possible to live as a 30 year old, as if you were actually eight, and had just come home from school, ready for a fresh lesson about morality.

This is exactly what Emily, my beloved best friend / sister in law / sidekick / no you're my side kick / fuck you I'm no one's sidekick, and I have spent the day doing.

Yesterday was active, today we have been learning courtesy of Degrassi Junior High.

So far we have learned:
  • It's okay if your boobs don't grow, as long as you can swim really fast
  • It's okay to be gay. Really, it's okay. 
  • A five line essay is worthy of praise, if using it you reveal the inner you. Yes the inner you. 
  • If you are beaten by a parent then a man who looks like he's in Duran Duran will save you and move you immediately to a new house. By the end of the episode it'll be like nothing ever happened.
  • If you brag about having sex then something bad will happen to you. 
Okay. I trust that we're all better people for this now. Also our hair might be a bit bigger. And we might say "aboot" more. (Sorry if this is offensive to any other Canadians. If you are offended please contact me and I will demolish Grange Hill or Byker Grove - Britain's finest teen 80's learning tools, in a single, unfunny blow. )

Any questions?


  1. But I can't swim fast! Boys will never like me!

    Oh no, it's OK, my boobs are actually quite big anyway. Panic over.

  2. You have a beautiful rack Mr Evans. In fact Caz told me that was why she married you.

    Today I've learned from Degrassi Junior High that it's okay to be pregant and 14; that putting off a date with someone that you only like a bit to go out with someone you really like will end in disaster and that having wet dreams is perfectly normal.
    If only I'd paid more attention to this programme when I was a kid - I might be less of an arsehole.

    Tra la la!