Friday, 7 January 2011

Is he ill?? No he's just a little horse....

"I'm losing more than I ever had" a synopsis for a 15 minute screenplay by Tommy Lassoo

Phillip lives in a one bedroom house on the outskirts of Norwich. Over the last year his life has changed dramatically - Phillip used to weigh 30 stone, today he is a shadow of his former self. Now freed from his prison of fat, the details of parts of his life known entirely to his friends, neighbours and complete strangers, Phillip lives from day to day, he goes to work, he comes home, he exercises, he cooks, he sleeps.

We speak to his parents, who are still desperately trying to analyse what went wrong - why their son transformed himself from a happy, if loner child, to a one man eating machine. We speak to his ex girlfriend, who fell in love with the man she used to run alongside in fields near the houses where they grew up, but was driven away as he hid himself from the world.

Phillip says that food was his hobby, now dieting is his hobby. He doesn't wish for anything else.

Prompted by the machinations of a documentary crew who fear that their upcoming project for Channel 4 will fall flat due to lack of movement or story - Phillip's past life is dredged for anything they can find. Nothing turns up - he was a happy child who loved running, trotting and grazing.

Finally, flabagasted by their subject's lack of motivation the crew start setting him up in different social situations - a blind date, a comedy club, a shopping spree, but nothing can break the blank canvas of Phillip. Eventually they go to extremes and con him into attending an S & M club.

Phillip wanders the length of Torture Garden barely expressing a thing, he trudges through rows of spankers and wankers without even lifting an eyebrow. As the director starts to hissy fit Phillip's attention is caught by a young woman on a hobby horse. He approaches her and they speak in whispers for a few moments.

In the final scene we see a glorious pantomime horse galloping across a field in perfect sunlight. Phillip has found himself.


  1. I'm glad to see that this Phillip has two ls in his name, thus making him both legally AND REALLY different to me

  2. Actually he's named Phillip because apparently Phillip means "lover of horses". Someone told me that and therefore it must be true. Also it must be true that you "love horses" Mr Evans.
    You should be ashamed. Poor horses. xxx

  3. It's not "lover of horses", it's "shags like a stallion" :D