Thursday, 25 March 2010

All hail captain grumpy Lassoo.....

I could just sleep forever
Madder Rose

Well hello there. What's that? You want to hear about sewing? I can tell you a thing or two about sewing.
Sewing makes you tired. Very tired indeed!

Yes children, all hail the very very grumpy version of me. Rest assured that this is a very temporary state of affairs, being caused by a heddy combination of rain, back ache and it not being the weekend. But other than me wallowing in my own misery, things are going swimmingly over here at Lassoo Towers.

I have learned several things this week:
1. Sewing circles are fun.

I call it a sewing circle, mostly because Rachel's tv was far away upstairs and we'd finished eating everything in sight so we turned to making things as a way to avoid the trauma that conversation becomes when you've known your friends for about a million years. Anyway things were pretty productive on Monday - for example:
Here is the lovely Miss Alex modelling her Status Ho t-shirt. One of a series created by buying a big old pile of logo and other rubbish slogan t-shirts (kiss my arse High School Musical) and creating more interesting words with the results. 

I have also been working on Genecyst (so there's been an anti Phil Collins theme to this week - not my fault dear followers, it's because he's evil and he smells.)
To emphasise the point here's a really really bad picture of me (the one taken moments before was far worse, however, as I was attempting to eat the world's biggest pear drop.)

The esteemed Ms Rachel also made cushion covers, like a nice young lady should (n.b she's not the chick in the picture, in case you think I've only got one friend who I just keep renaming in order to make myself sound like I have more than one friend. In fact Rachel didn't upload the photograph of her wearing the jeans from 1990 that she was going to cut up which I would have entertained myself by showing to you all here - spoilsport.  

Okay now I only have one friend.)

My biggest triumph of the week, however, has been the creation of lovely eye masks for my two sleepiest friends. 

Remember this?

I know. I rock. (Ignore the fact that there were supposed to be four. I lost one and one turned out really odd, scary and wonky.) 

Pictures of I Ate Kate Moss and Genecyst are coming soon. Well you're just going to have to wait aren't you.

Which leads me to point 2 -
2. Sweat shops featuring your best friends, can be re-named as Sewing Circles and seem somehow more charming.
Get back to work you tramps - we have lots of minging clothes to re-jig!

3. I have a crap disco living in my head.  
Okay, this is only partially to do with this month's challenge - although sewing leaves me mesmerised and unable to change the record for long periods of time, during which I'm subjected to the songs that continually go around in my head. I've never sat down and listened to Harvest for the World by The Christians, or anything by the short lived 90's pop shite act Eternal, yet I'm plagued by them. I even know all the words! Why? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? Does my brain hate me? Should I never be alone in the quiet in case the lyrics to Lady in Red to the tune of Red Red Wine pop up and haunt me forever (this happened to my brother once - seriously he was haunted for months!) Is this a form of mental illness?

4. If I ever have to see a picture of Samantha Cameron in her undercrackers again I'm leaving the country - I'll even live with Phil Collins. 
(Okay that was a lie, he's probably got the aforementioned pictures of Mrs Cameron up in his tax evading mansion in Switzerland, the talentless tory t***). 
(Note the starring out of swears dear followers - on behalf of the lovely Ms Gillespie who would like this blog to inspire her fabulous 12 year old daughter. Fuck it I should be given a whole generation of little girls to influence - can you imagine it? An army of 12 year old Bikini Kill fans with Eroticise My Fist stitched into their mini dresses? Collins would stay in Switzerland for sure and all our lives would be better. Bugger I swore again. There go my plans.)

That is all.
Next week - it's the Pineapple's Easter Bonnet competition - the first year I made two fluffy bunnies fight to the death with spears (and made Trigger from Only Fools and Horses look at me as a frightened child might look at an angry dog), the second year I cut the head off a Care Bear - what horrors can I add to a peaceful holiday this year.....

The mind boggles xxxx


  1. I'm very much enjoying reading you writing again regularly. If you see what I mean. Makes me smile.

  2. Awww, thanks Phil. Cooper told me the other week she liked hearing my rants again! Just remember - shout if you want to join in with any of the madness. We're making a music video next month! (you heard it here first kids.) xxxx

  3. Well if you want to do something good...

    Mwhaaa mwhaaa mwhaaa