Saturday, 24 July 2010

Big news - woman puts on weight after having baby, then exercises

Is it because my body must always be a source of pain?
Bikini Kill

It's been ages since I had a feminist rant. I blame the art. Bloody art - creating stuff, no matter how rubbish looking and infantile it is, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, I can almost skip through my daily dose of newspapers without screaming too loudly; I can look away whilst Gary Bushell still walks the earth and smile despite the fact that David Cameron and his shitty little mates are slowly taking apart the country and insisting that it's the public sector who are fat cats - because obviously people in the public sector caused the recession with their bottomless greed or lied about their expenses to pay for duck houses and .....grrrrr.

Anyway, I found myself getting a little bit angry the other day over this particular lovely. Apparently a weather "girl" made the heinous decision to eat food and get fat whilst she was pregnant and then had the audacity to work out in public with her belly on show.

The bitch.
This article was posted over every single tabloid last week.
Every single one.

So this is news? this is news? Really??? Is it fucking news? What - did you run out of broken down men with guns and a thirst for attention to glorify? I guess Winehouse hasn't fallen over for a little while.

Something else scared me about this, however, because the photo was in every single tabloid it's easy to get the passing whiff of a publicist around these parts. Let's look at it a bit more closely - a quick search of Clare Nasir on the Daily Mail website sees lots of conveniently placed stories about her pregnancy and it's apparently "miraculous" status. Clearly this has been a story to be told.

The outfit is skimpy, very skimpy indeed, at first I thought it smacked of an upcoming eating disorder, where you wear as little as you can whilst you compulsively exercise so that you can see every ripple and truly judge yourself. But doesn't it look more like the "before" on one of those before and after workout videos (think Sonia from Eastenders, Bianca from Eastenders, Laura from Eastenders, Dirty Den from Eastenders - okay I put that one in to increase the gratuitous imagery quota). Methinks there is publicity afoot - and when, in about 2 months, she's worked her ass out and lived off salad and is a skinny Minnie again she will be double blessed, with a new shiny baby and a new shiny workout DVD.

Isn't it cute? Doesn't it make you want to jump up and down for 2 weeks before sending it to a charity shop? Adorable.

Now this leads me nicely to the second bit of my rant. I was talking to an acquaintance the other day and he started to admit his respect for Paris Hilton. He argued that she was a savvy business woman and had managed her product (herself) impeccably.

I've heard this argument countless times - Jordan is a savvy businesswoman, therefore worthy of respect. Paris Hilton has made a bag of cash, therefore is worthy of my respect.  Suffice to say that I think this is a fucking crock of capitalist shit lies. If someone wants to make money, if making money is the one thing in the world that they want to do, if it's the thing that floats their boat, the peanut butter to their jam sandwich - then they are a fucking shallow tossrag. If all you want to do is make money and you are willing to sacrifice your dignity, your intelligence and your self respect for it (and let's get this straight, we're not talking about feeding yourself or anyone else, we're talking about living a life of luxury) - then you have no soul.

If being a savvy businesswoman involves pumping your tits up, taking your top off, pretending to be stupid and having reality tv to prove it then excuse me while I sign on.

But that's not what my major beef is. If a load of stupid arseholes wanted to do this (and they do) then that's fine - but it's the wider impact that really fucks me off......

Because Jordan whoring herself, whilst it's entirely her business what she does with her arse, impacts on our society. She's a household name, people are looking at her, girls are looking at her and thinking that this is a valuable career for a woman to take. The papers hound her, she's famous. She's the cult of celebrity. You don't get famous by being a brain surgeon, you don't get famous by being a good writer, or a nuclear physicist or a goddamn IT nerd.

That's what pisses me off. Jordan / Paris Hilton / insert name here are perpetuating a culture in which women are judged for what they look like and anything considered unfeminine is deemed unattractive - therefore making aforementioned woman worthless.

Clare Nasir is either being exploited or she's exploiting herself - and fair do's to her on one side. If those photos were taken without her knowledge then I can't even imagine the pain that could be caused.

Even if she's organised the publicity - being pregnant is a mighty slog and getting big is part and parcel. Carving a body shape that you're happy with is also challenging and exercise is a bitch that will make you happy if you let it. If she can make a career opportunity from this then she is savvy. But what's also happening here is that someone is fuelling this tabloid fire and putting the message out there that fat women are here to be stared at like freakshows and mocked, that women's bodies are a display for the world to judge as they see fit.

The tabloid thirst for this shit makes me sick to my stomach. Whether the story was just - woman gets fat, how disgusting or it's leading up to - woman gets thin again, woopy do, we can oggle her again, fuel is being chucked on that fire, and with it the self esteem of another generation slowly ebbs away.

There's more to life than making money by any means necessary, there is art and love and a whole exciting world out there.

Man that felt good.
Have fun everyone. i'll be back with some silly pictures of angels, lots of lists of the cheapest films ever made (and possibly a song or two) very soon. xxxxx


  1. Paris Hilton, financial guru25 July 2010 at 04:39

    Of course Paris Hilton, the multisqullionheiress, is some sort of financial genius. After all her brilliant plan of being born into the Hilton Hotels family and inheriting vast sums of dosh can't really be faulted.

  2. The bit that annoys me most is the hypocrisy of the message. "You must look thin, but we will mock you while you do exercise to try and look thin". Talk about a lose/lose situation.